Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
Randomize
