we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Randomize
