no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize