I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
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