your thong is hanging out like whoa
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize