My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
Randomize
