Your favorite bartender is back from prision
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
Randomize
