Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
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