Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
Randomize
