i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
i dont even know how to be here
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Randomize
