how hairy? two words: wookie tits
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize