'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Randomize