Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
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