Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
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Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
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I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
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