So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
We don't watch enough power rangers
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
