k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
