Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
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