also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
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I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
Randomize
