Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
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