Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Randomize
