i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Randomize
