i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
