i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
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