We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize
