OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Randomize
