Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
I just had sex on a roof
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Randomize
