I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
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