Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
