the day after is always just damage control
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
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