No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Randomize
