bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
how drunk are you?
Several
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
Randomize
