how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Randomize
