Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
