I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
i think im in europe. pls send help
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
