please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
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