Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
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I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
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i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize