you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
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