I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
