Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
Randomize
