No awkward lesbian experiences without me
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
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