i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
Randomize
