sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
My pussy is not your playground.
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Randomize
