So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
My dad is sitting where you rode me
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
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