I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
