He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Randomize
