what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
Randomize
