How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
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