woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
29 Times Beach Sex Ended With Sand In All The Wrong Places
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.