I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE