In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
21 Dirty Secrets From Bachelor/Bachelorette Parties That Have Destroyed Marriages
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
23 Fathers Confess The Best Way They’ve Messed With Their Daughter’s Boyfriend
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
You may now shotgun with the bride
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.