I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
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You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
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Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
lying in bed pretending to be a slug