Plan B is the new Plan A
I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
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