They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
