for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
Randomize
