"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
I AM VODKA MAN
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
