Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
