its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
Randomize