Who wears a wallet chain?!
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
