I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
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