Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Randomize
