There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
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