What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Randomize
