Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
