I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
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